大洞

心像破了个大洞。。。
希望填满它的是根木。。
哈哈。。。
很清楚握着不属于自己的东西的感觉是什么，
所以我一直都在压抑。
不想再受伤，
所以那是唯一能保护自己的方法。

好希望变成男生，
我的性格本来就是man嘛！
当女生根本就是浪费！
哈哈。。。

totally have no idea what am i typing above..
others just treat it as a joke to read, i dun mind.
can see that how complicated feeling i have now...
really hope some 1 can solve it.
but i know i am always alone to face it.
so i have to be strong, right?
if weishan, yuan kuan or jocelyn have chance to read this,
i am here to tell u all,
i met some like BM.. the person i keep repeat in sch in past.
see, i am suffering now.
tell me why i always face this.
no answer rite?
really am failure rite?
oh! god!
i really wish i am a man rather than a girl!

forgive me for this random post...

HTC TOUCH DIAMOND2!!!

Finally i get my new phone on today!
thx to my mum...love u!!
actually she will bought me this phone just because i cant follow her to europe trip due to my final exam.
so she bought it just to make up for cant bring me along to the trip...

kind of regret to buy this phone...
cuz it means my stress getting higher...
it means i have to work really hard on my final...
if not i will feel sorry to them..
haiz...
should ask them to buy for me after final...

JIAYOU!!!

感动我的歌词

沒有誰可以挽救 垂死的愛情
我們終於只剩下 哀傷的決定
我不相信 現在看過去
會沉重的讓我沉溺 會不堪的讓你逃離
沒有誰可以破壞 虛弱的幸福
只有我們才知道 愛情剩下什麼面目
置身事外 求一個恢復
我可以等漫漫的苦 而不是誰趁虛而入
我願意結束

another post.

MORNING AGAIN!!!

like what i expect, i din get to sleep...
some more went to fetch my friends at Puchong as one of them send her car for repairment.
wish to have some sleep...
please let me have a short nap...

6:10AM!!!

great! another sleepless night.
now already 6:10am and i do not have any intention to sleep.
luckily my class will start at 2pm means that if i sleep now i still can sleep for 7hours.
problem is i cant sleep!!!
reason? DUNO.... XD
maybe i already use to sleep at 6smth in the morning.
if my dad find out, he sure will scold me like i have done smth terrible and ask me move to my relatives so that there is someone to check on me!
so SHHH~~~ everyone who saw this post just keep this from him.
i need my freedom!!!

JUST not my FAULT for still awake at this time!!!
is... erm... ey... cuz...my mind dun let me rest! (yea.. this is the reason!)
assignments kill me!
quiz and final going to murder me!
all this let me cant have a normal schedule in my life!
another reason is... bcuz there are so many drama waiting for me to watch( i promise this is the minor reason, really!!!)*cross finger*
wahaha...
SHHH~~~

i find that my English only works while writing essay,presentation,assignment, every quiz and final.
others than that it is just sucks!!!
i am totally have no idea what i had wrote up there.
so just ignore me!
its time for bed...
HOPEFULLY

GD NIGHT AND MORNING!!!

不明白为什么写blog要有标题？

first, the title is not relate with what i want to express now...
now this blog again will be in chinese... reason is chinese can more describe my feeling that deep inside my heart... but why, midnight always the good timing for me to record my feeling over here?

很想放肆的去疯一场。
突然有冲动驾着车去吹海风在这早上5点钟，没睡意的时候。

一直认为单身很棒的我想快快找个人嫁了，
前提是他要比我爱他，因为我不想变成爱情的奴隶（我承认我很自私,不过我才懒得理你，因为我这20年里永远都在顾虑别人，替别人想，至少在爱情的世界里我想当女王！！！）
好，我离题了。。。
为什么那么快想嫁，只有一个原因，因为马尔地夫是个适合度蜜月的地方，而我想马上飞去！所以嫁人的条件是要马上带我去！！！
你问我为什么不自己一个人去？

一，都说那里适合度蜜月，那么就很多那种甜死人不偿命的新婚夫妇和情侣，我干嘛去当怪咖？？？
二，我没钱去啊，所以要找凯子! opps, 应该说未来的先生。哈哈。。。
三，让老爸老妈放心嘛！
四，就不想一个人不行吗？？？你管我！！！

最后，很白痴的想大声跟某人告白，可是我不要有回应可以吗？？？我纯粹只是想告白，没有要答案的意思。。。为什么？？？ 都说我白痴了！你还问我为什么！欠咬啊！！！

-写完再读过觉得自己怎么那么可爱又欠打啊，
更爱自己了。-

中毒

我完了!!!
中毒太深。。。
谁来给我解药啊？？？
越假装没事好像越变本加厉。。。
我真的中毒了。。。
我要走出来！！！

some picture to show my previous life

my lovely parents...

after many shot, my dad finally look at the camera lens but with a funny face =.=

ME^^

emo???

my precious... wahaha

GATHERING WITH RAINY N SHAN!!!
act cute =P

nice gather with u two...
looking forward on the next^^

After a long period of break...

abandon this blog for a long time and now i am back...
nothing much to update...
life again full with with stress...
7 subject in this semester, going to really work hard on it...

last month get to meet with rainy, shan, and cf.
happy but have lots of thoughts and feelings aroused by what sees or hears,
AGAIN, life still have to go on no matter how negative my thought is...
remain a fake smile on my face, pretend everything with me is wonderful.
is my life and i am slowly use to it...

relax!

i am already reach in JB!
anyone who wish with me just give me a call or sms me bah...
i will seldom come up here to update in holiday.
as i wish to spend more time with my family and friends rather than hanging myself with internet like what i usually do in cyberjaya.

in this holiday i want to totally relax and forget about my final which i had screw it into mess...
face it after two weeks bah...
RELAX!!!
Nitez everyone!
take care...

OH MY GOD!
what had happen with me?
I have not sleep for the whole night!
no matter how i try i still cant sleep and meet my prince in my dream!
WTH!
what wrong with me?
i still lot assignments to be done but i don't have any mood to do it!
HELP ME!

感觉

我好像开始对你又感觉了。。。
和你出去的时候和有安全感，
但你的名声好像不是很好，
而且给我的感觉像是站在A那里的，
所以应该不怎么喜欢我吧。。。
我又要宣告：放弃！！！
难过+失望！

难得会有一个男生让我觉得很有安全感耶。。。
唉。。。

moody =(

最近抑制重复听着by2的《不够成熟》。
里面有几句很触动我心。

“离开难道真的是解脱
难道真的要事过境迁了以后才懂”

“倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有
倔强抬起头 决不让眼泪往下流
倔强说不痛 假装什么伤都没有”

这几天的心情起伏很大，
没有谈心的对象果然很难挨。
透过msn真的难把心事说出，
所以别怪我没告诉你们。
我也不是会把心事忘自己身上藏的人，
只不过没人问，没有很好的抒发管道。
不过我已经学会瞬间失忆了，
睡一觉醒来都会忘光光了。

我曾经说过朋友是我很大的精神粮食，
可是我粮食好像一直在流失。
是我不会保留，
还是它和其他粮食一样也有保存期限？
难道真的没有永远能永远完好保存的关系吗？

我常在想如果人来到这个世界是为了一个使命，
那我的会是什么？
没有答案。。。
只能一天天的过，
一天天的去发掘。
但过程好痛苦哦，
没有止痛剂
还是吗啡这类的东西让我的生活开心一点吗?
我只想要让自己开心！！！
不是外表而是内心。。。

到底有多少个夜晚我是含着泪睡着的？
有多少次挂上电话是大哭的?
数不清。。
我怎么会让自己过的那么痛苦啊？
开心点不行吗？
在痛苦中找乐趣又那么难吗？

失败的大学生活，
失败的自己。。。

Reunion with Malacca's Friends!

eye on m'sia

me n grace

alice,suh yan,ming2,me ,grace

ming2 and me

Get to go back to mlc with zhikun and alice last friday due to renew my driving license.
actuaclly cant get to meet all of them, as some others need to go back hometown.
but still we get to meet with ming2, suh yan, grace, yao, tsin yin n hui en.
sadly din took much photo with them..

大姨丈，
一路好走。

好想好好爱一场。。。
本来不渴望谈恋爱的我，
现在好好的本人疼！！！

大喊：
谁来爱我啊！！！

因为寂寞所以我爱你

因为寂寞所以我爱你。。。

好伤人的一句话，
可是也反映了现代人维持爱情的一个理由。。。
你是不是处于这种情况？
如果是，那问一问你们自己，
不悲哀吗？

I Am Back!!!

YUHOO!!!
I am finally back in JB!
Happy!

but seem like i dun have time to meet with all my friends cause of many factors.
so have to wait for another time which i have more holidays.
later going to have lunch with Jocelyn.

ohya, just now i park my car in front my house,
i accidentally bang my auto gate...
gosh... scary!!!
better dun let my mum know about it, if not i die...
luckily nothing happen, just my car plate get a bit scratch on it...
my driving skill become worst le, how neh...
Sunday some more need to drive back to cyberjaya!
Hope everything can be be smooth!

爱上

开始爱上这个让我埋怨和抒发的小角落，
当在chatbox里看到朋友给我的鼓励和安慰的话就会觉得很窝心。
不管这一天又多烦闷和不开心，
只要看到朋友们的留言就会慢慢的让自己开心起来，
因为我知道不过我离他们有多远，
我们曾经有过的回忆和建立起来的友谊不会被距离和时间给冲淡。
至少不管任何一方有困难，
我相信我们都会无条件的给与我们最大的鼓励和支持！
至少我是那么认为的!

为了那些相信我可以战胜难题的朋友们，
我会尽我全力让自己回到以前那个38 的陈庭乐。

好想和大小眼再有机会聚在一起逛街，八卦。
好想念form4 那年的大家庭。
对于以前的一切都好怀念，
可是那些已经成为我成长中一段最快乐的回忆，
再也会不去了。
现在只能在脑海中翻阅，
当作不开心时的良药。

现在我才发现我有多爱康文。
多爱我的姐妹！！！
你们叻？
有爱我吗?
答案一定是有的，对吧?
哈哈。。。
jocelyn, 有熟悉的感觉吗？
现在的我就像以前一样逼你们说我可爱，
不过我现在是要你们爱我啦！！！
HIA HIA HIA~~~(我的招牌巫婆笑声）

小rain啊,我突然好想冲回jb找你谈天，逛街，吃午餐。
或许也能假装会bijaksana 补习迟到。
哈哈。。。

写不出

这几天想写些开心的网志，
可是想破了头却打不出一个字来。
不断地问自己到底怎么了，
自己的生活真的没有一点快乐的事情可以被记录吗？
我都快分不清自己是怎样的一个人了。
很悲哀，
我怎么会变成这样啊？

当初真的做错了决定吗?
所以才落得现在这样的下场？

我快疯了！！！

生日快乐
一定会很快乐！！！

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

一颗棋子

我是一颗棋子，
任由他人摆布，
没有自主的权利，
更没有资格抱怨。
我只有默默的忍受一切。
我在这里的抱怨很多但不是为了让自己显得可怜，
而是要告诉自己抱怨过了久得去面对。
那样才叫勇敢。

勇敢的去面对，
大哭一场后，
彩虹还是会在另一头等着。

Been A Long Time.

很长的一段时间没向这里报道了。
新的一年，心情却还停留在去年。
不知道自己要的是什么，对自己未来要走的路越来越迷惘。
开始害怕自己是不是作了对的决定。

人生有太多的不确定，而我也在迷宫里迷了路。
怎样才能走出来？
又是怎样的一个光明大道再等着我？
都还是未知数。

我努力的不回头看，
拼了命的向未来的自己负责，
可是为什么我总觉得自己还停留在原地。
而大家却已坐上法拉利奔驰在自己未来的轨道上？

忍吧，
学蜗牛的精神总有一天能到顶端的，
是吧？